Sunday, September 16, 2012

Juggling Many Balls

I am sitting here on a Sunday night writing a paper for school. Yes, I waited until the the last minute to complete it. I have been doing that a lot lately. I have lost all motivation for school. If it were not for the fact that I am two classes shy of completing my MBA, I might really seriously consider taking a hiatus from school. I have a lot of daily responsibilities between work and home and I absolutely HATE to have to sacrifice in others areas (especially my home life) for school.

In the middle of this degree, I went from taking two classes at a time to one. So right now I only have one class but it still seems to take up more time that I am willing to give. I have three young children. They need and deserve a lot of my time when I am home given the fact that I do work 8+ hours a day, so I try to make the most out of the time I spend with them. It is a blessing but quite scary being a parent because you know the things you are doing now, the things you are teaching your kids and showing your kids through your actions directly impact the type of people they are going to grow to be.

Because of this, after these two classes are complete, there will be no more school for me. I have considered the idea of going back for a second master's degree after giving myself an adequate break, but my children are more important. They need me and I want to be there. I don't have the financial means to be a stay-at-home mom but I do believe through a lot of prayer and guidance from above, we can raise good, decent, respectable children into adults given the amount of time I get to spend with them everyday.

So after school is complete, I am going to put my education on hold and focus my spare time on parenting my children. Even though I sometimes think I can do it all, the truth is I cannot and some things suffer in the process. I am learning my limits and what is good for my health and sanity, as well as what is good for the well-being of my family.

When you are juggling many balls, you can keep them all up in the air for a while, but eventually, one or two will drop. One of my old professors once told me that certain balls are made out of rubber and others are made out of glass. Work and school are made out of rubber, if you drop one of those, they can bounce and eventually will be okay. You can get a new job, you can attempt a class again, etc. But other balls are made of glass like family and friendships. If you drop those, it can have devastating effects. If I don't spend enough time with my kids when they are little, the results will show when they are older. If I sacrifice my important relationships for the "rubber balls" the damage can be irreparable. Something to think about, isn't it?

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